It seems like a happy relationship should come naturally when you’re with the right person, but that’s not true. Relationships require work. Happy couples have to maintain their relationships every day with love and care, but it’s not as daunting of a task as it may seem. There’s no real “secret” to having a happy relationship, but there are things you can do to make it all come more easily. Try to integrate these habits into your daily life and see how much happier your relationship can be.
1. Go to bed at the same time
I used to think it was silly to want to go to bed at the same time as my partner, but it does wonders for your relationship! If one of us stays up later than the other, our whole evening feels off. There’s something cozy about sliding under the covers together, talking about what happened during the day or what’s on the list for tomorrow. My fiancé works the night shift, and without realizing it, my schedule also changed until I was a night owl, doing my freelance work during the late hours while he was at his job. When he came home early in the morning, I’d go to bed with him just to get that connection you can only get from sleeping and waking up together.
2. Cultivate common interests.
It’s important to really enjoy spending time together. He doesn’t need to share your love of reality TV, and you obviously don’t need to understand his adoration for ESPN, but you should have activities that the two of you look forward to doing as a couple. Whether it’s picking a new recipe to try every weekend, going for a run, or simply watching The Blacklist, find something fun to do consistently together. It doesn’t matter what you do together (or how well you do it), just that you’re doing enjoyable things together.
3. They touch.
Small gestures like holding hands or putting your arm around each other increases closeness, which is always a factor in the lives of happy couples. When you hold hands, you’re subconsciously reminding yourself that you care about each other. There’s something really nice about walking perfectly in step with your partner.
4. They don’t pointlessly nag. Focus on what your partner does right, not wrong.
Happy couples emphasize the positive things that their partner does. This means that if something is bothering you, you have a real conversation about it. Nitpicking, nagging, or criticizing are not the way to someone’s heart. Don’t chastise your partner every time you think they do something wrong. There are nice ways to inform someone if they hurt your feelings, or to correct them if they do something in a bad way.
5. They embrace affection, continuing to kiss each other hello and say “I love you.”
Before you leave for work in the morning, give your partner a really great goodbye kiss and say I love you. When you come home from a long day, do it again. Your morning and evening greeting should be something that you look forward to. Once you start kissing and sharing your feelings often, you’ll appreciate each other more. People forget that the small things make a difference. When you begin your day with a loving gesture, you’re starting on a great note.
6. They maintain the intimacy.
Nothing beats the I-can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you-and-am-so-obsessed-with-you honeymoon phase. It’s so amazing when the only thing you can focus on is your partner and you want to spend every single second together. But, eventually the honeymoon phase is over. Just because it ended, the passion doesn’t have to also disappear. Happy couples work to keep intimacy and romance alive in the relationship.
7. They go out together.
Having a date night is essential. Just like when you first started dating, you have to be woo-ed. Take turns courting each other and planning the entire night. Date night encourages you to keep the spark alive. As silly as it sounds, getting dressed up and going out, just the two of you, keeps the excitement strong.
8. They genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
When you enjoy each other’s company, your relationship flourishes. Your significant other is someone you can talk to about anything, anywhere, anytime — so make sure you take advantage of that. When you have a bad day, simply seeing your partner makes everything better.
9. They break routines.
Your relationship shouldn’t feel like a routine. Your life as a couple should be unpredictable. You should embrace spontaneity and surprise each other with fun new activities.
10. They put their phones away.
When you’re together, you should focus entirely on each other. Devote 100 percent of your attention to your partner. Take a break from technology. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter can all wait until the morning.
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